I wanted to share some wisdom I have learned over many years of kids and marriage. This is a style of care I feel most husbands can be very good at.
Recently, she indicated that her monthly cycle would begin. One learns that monthly bleeding and hormonal changes can make females feel and act— well— not like their best selves. It mean expending iron, protein, and energy. In my house, that means she wants meat, salt, and savory flavors.
That means stock up on steak, chocolate, and red wine.
She and I have established clear communication. When she gets feeling “not her best self”, I have my grill on standby and fire her up a steak as necessary. I learned to make a really great red wine gravy.
- 1 tablespoon of butter
- 1 minced clove of garlic
- 1 small onion, sliced
- 1 glass of red wine
- 1 glass of water
- 1 cube of beef bullion
- 1 table spoon of honey
- 2 tablespoons of corn starch
Caramelize the clove and garlic up in the butter, add the rest of the ingredients, boil till thick. Pour on steak. Eat.
The steak, red wine sauce, and chocolate is just what her body craves while her body is undergoing the mystery of creation. I do what I was designed to do: Protect and provide to sustain that mystery.
During this time, sometimes she walks by while I am doing projects or work and I can tell she needs to be held. So I hold her. No logic to it… just sensitivity.
Say what you will, but paying attention to what she wants and needs has cracked the code for us to be warm and loving the other 3 weeks of the month. People often think we are newlyweds and are shocked to hear we have been married a decade and a half.
I say that to say this: When I hear men talk about how their wives either turned cold or stopped loving them, I often wonder: was there a misstep on the man’s part in providing for certain needs? Certain illogical, unreasonable needs that make a woman feel loved?
Granted, some people are simply poor at sustaining relationships or not sabotaging a good thing. But my belief is that if we tap into our male nature—creatively, sensually, primitively— to satiate our partner’s core, basic desires in a way that makes them feel acknowledged and cared for, many more relationships would be far better than they are now.
Be primal, gentlemen. The women in your life deserve your sensual, creative energy.